In continuation of my last post Ever seen a car passing and having an urge to jump in its path, been to the top of a building and have the feeling of jumping? Ending your life with one quick slash across the wrist would make it so fast and remove this inner pain I feel. The thing that stops me from doing so would be the fact that if I do such it would mean Ill go to hell where the situation there would be far worst then now. But I wonder sometimes, if i did die how would i be remembered? Would anyone come to my funeral or even care I had left this world? It makes me ponder over the fact that whether I had impacted anyone or had a part in changing their life? I found out why many drunkards, drink in the first place, they are like me in a way and are suffering in silence, not daring to show their weakness. I know this cause I have tried to drink away my problems. The burn of the fluid going down your chest is one that eases the pain for a while, at lease till the high wears off and you just slip back into depression. I find this method is a quick fix but if anything sleep is the best. I can go into a semi conscious state where all problem seem gone and the world is at peace. Maybe that is why i tend to stone or daydream as it would be the closest thing to sleep. I still am wondering and pondering on the question on "what if" but am aways putting up a front when with company. I was in church yesterday and kept thinking of her, even when I was watching the movie, playing cards,playing a board game or just staying up. I could not stop thinking of the time before she left. Could I have gone about things differently, was it wrong timing or is it just me where I ain't even worth looking at? Yes in front of others I pretend to be leading a perfect life and am in control of everything, but behind closed doors I am a wreck, tearing myself to sleep and feeling lost in life. Dose anyone know? Would they care?
Name:Leslie
Be closer to God♥
Age: 20
If you know me you will know this info
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Msn:Razgriz
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..::Top 3 favorite songs::..
I can only imagine(mercy me)
Blurry(puddle of mud)
High(lighthouse family)
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..::My best friend::..
Keith
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...::+My Favorite Stores+::...
OF Mice And Men
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==**Can't live with out**==
¤God
¤Family
¤Friends
¤Music
¤Love of friends and family
¤♥Passion for Jesus Christ♥
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{♫}My Wishlist{♫}
Love and care from others
Be less Emo
more friends(more friends is aways good)
Quote: We guard out hearts preciously and give it away so cautiously, Some hearts are crystal among glass and shatter ever so beautifully
Abby(Church)
Afina(TP/wake boarding)
Andrew(Church)
Bear(5B/BDS)
Charis(Church)
Denise(TP/Wake boarding)
Faridah(els/BDS)
Geri(ELS/BDS)
Grace Oh(BDS)
J.C.(Church)
Jessica(TP/wake boarding)
Jia Min(HC/DAS camp)
Josh Goh(Church)
Josh Tay(Church)
Li Zhen(BDS)
Magdalene(BDS/ALW)
Nigel(TP/wake boarding)
Rimiko(BDS/prefects)
Sher Li(ELS/BDS)
Si Qi(Church)
.......
[[My Profile]]
[[My Website]]
"For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither your ways my ways" declares the Lord(Isa 55.8)
{♪♫♪}Leave me stuff{♪♫♪}
In continuation of my last post Ever seen a car passing and having an urge to jump in its path, been to the top of a building and have the feeling of jumping? Ending your life with one quick slash across the wrist would make it so fast and remove this inner pain I feel. The thing that stops me from doing so would be the fact that if I do such it would mean Ill go to hell where the situation there would be far worst then now. But I wonder sometimes, if i did die how would i be remembered? Would anyone come to my funeral or even care I had left this world? It makes me ponder over the fact that whether I had impacted anyone or had a part in changing their life? I found out why many drunkards, drink in the first place, they are like me in a way and are suffering in silence, not daring to show their weakness. I know this cause I have tried to drink away my problems. The burn of the fluid going down your chest is one that eases the pain for a while, at lease till the high wears off and you just slip back into depression. I find this method is a quick fix but if anything sleep is the best. I can go into a semi conscious state where all problem seem gone and the world is at peace. Maybe that is why i tend to stone or daydream as it would be the closest thing to sleep. I still am wondering and pondering on the question on "what if" but am aways putting up a front when with company. I was in church yesterday and kept thinking of her, even when I was watching the movie, playing cards,playing a board game or just staying up. I could not stop thinking of the time before she left. Could I have gone about things differently, was it wrong timing or is it just me where I ain't even worth looking at? Yes in front of others I pretend to be leading a perfect life and am in control of everything, but behind closed doors I am a wreck, tearing myself to sleep and feeling lost in life. Dose anyone know? Would they care?