whats been going on so far
recently I went wake-boarding with sherm and li-zhen
then there was also Y.E.S.
well thats been the main 2 events recently unless you count the month
where my parents and brother's family went to U.K. for 3 and a half weeks where
I was home alone.
old blog new look
decided to change the old blog and add a few new things. I just redid the old blog so as to have a background pic of me as well as change the color of the font in the blog skin, changed the song too.
changing the codes were a real pain but I think I can now attempt to make my own blog skin from scratch.
THINKING
Thought about you a lot today (not Nicole). cant seem to get you out of my mind lately
what do I have to do to lead a normal life where I can be truly happy?
haven't felt truly happy in a long time.
Have been kicked out of tp cause i failed my exams. Its not that I want to fail or i dint study
so would appreciate it if people dint call me a failure. I am just tired of getting demoralized by the ones i call "friends". so much for standing by me through thick and thin. I don't know what friendship is anymore but wiki defines it as " a term used to denote co-operative and supportive behavior between two or more people." haven't felt supported much lately
"why on earth did you not study" is the most common remark
or "I told you to study right!". little do they know this is so degrading to me that there is no self worth anymore.
But can i disagree with them? not really cause before i say a word they have switched to another topic.
i don't belong anywhere. not in tp, not in wake boarding, not in church and not at home.
and why on earth have i fallen so hard for someone 5 years younger then myself who wants nothing to do with me?
its best i go to army for every ones sake. then ill Be out of their hair faster cause once I'm on that plane to aus I'm not coming back.
I havent posted for a very long time and thats cause i have been rather blue lately
well here is why i am blue.
1. broke up with Nicole and still have no clue why she acted in such a manner
2. stressed out and tired from pressures that are presented in front of me from different ministries in church
3. getting ignored by someone from church who i used to like before Nicole
4. idiots who don't know how easily hurt i am go teasing be bout my break up.
5. high expectations placed on me by peers
there is many more but i wont bore you with the details.
i am really stressed out and the only one that can help me is the Lord.
a few close friends wont do any harm either.
To Nicole
Nicole if you are reading this I want you to know I'm trying my best to cling on
but it feels like its turn to a one sided relationship.
You don't answer my calls, smses, canceled four of our dates and hardly can tell when I'm real hurt.
Do you mean for it to be over?
Do you want me gone?
The sky has lost it's color
The sun has turned to gray
At least that's how it feels to me
Whenever you're away
I still believe in feelings
But sometimes I feel too much
I make believe you're close to me
But it ain't close enough
I crawl up in the corner
As I watch the minutes pass
Each one brings me closer to
The time when you'll be back
a poem i recently wrote
some may know the reason
I never will forget the day I saw a dream walking. Her name was (cant revel name). Her long and wavy hair cascading down her shoulders caressing her back, with a smile beneath two twinkling eyes making anyone who received it feel very special.
While her physical beauty was astounding it was her invisible beauty I shall always remember. She really cared about people and was an extremely talented listener. Her sense of humor could brighten your entire day and her wise words were always exactly what you needed to hear. She was not only admired but also genuinely respected by members of both sexes. With everything in the world to be conceited about she was extremely humble.
Needless to say she was every guys dream especially mine. I got to walk her to the bus and even got to eat lunch with her. That day the sunset in raining streams of crimson gold.
I would think “if only I could have a girlfriend like (name), Ill’ never look at another girl again” but I figured that some one this outstanding was probably dating someone far better then myself. Even if she was single I just knew I dint stand even a ghost of a chance.
Hello
have not blogged in some time. okok a long time.
lots has happened from the last time i blogged.
have had exams in sch now on 51 days break, had annoying ppl around me, went back to chec for teachers day and so on.
but am busy now so will blog again hopefully soon.
oh and if you can tell im a lot more cheerful
What on earth was I thinking
why did I not join the nameless 19 year old boys for lunch even if an ice cream lunch would have made me feel sick. Why did I join a group that has the girl I'm trying so hard to get over in it?
nvm bout that why did I latter agree to go and watch "Wanted" with them?
what was I thinking???
CRAP lah
Hi world
as some of you have seen and commented on my last post i do admit it is a bit morbid.
anyway today i went wake boarding :) had great time poking fun at Afina while waiting for my turn to go. it all started with me looking over the side of the dock and spotted fish and called her over little did i know she had an evil plan to push me into the water and get soaked all over again.
wake boarding with Nigel and Afina is fun they are really cool peeps. anyway i do hope to be able to go wake boarding with the rest of the fresh i's in wake boarding. then it would be loads of fun.
pics will be uploaded in a few days
ObituariesLeslie Gorrie, died last night from complications of losing his soul mate. He was 19 years old. Soft-spoken and obsessive, Leslie never looked the part of a hopeless romantic. But, in the final days of his life, he revealed an unknown side of his psyche. This hidden quasi-Jungian persona surfaced during the Agatha Christie-like pursuit of his long reputed soul mate, a girl whom he only spent a few precious hours with. Sadly, the protracted search ended late Saturday night in complete and utter failure. Yet even in certain defeat, Leslie secretly clung to the belief that life is not merely a series of meaningless accidents or coincidences. No-no. But rather, its a tapestry of events that culminate in an exquisite, sublime plan. Leslie was described as a changed man in the last days of his life. "Things were clearer for him" . Ultimately Leslie concluded that if we are to live life in harmony with the universe, we must all possess a powerful faith in what the ancients used to call "fatum", what we currently refer to as destiny.
(a friend wrote it for me.)
What can I say other then I hate my life. I don't hate the fact that I'm alive but what Ive done to make it this way.
What on earth am I talking bout you may ask.
I don't like the fact that I can see my friends slipping through my fingers and theres not a single thing I can do to stop it.
I dont like the fact that I had to study just so I don't have to think of a particular person.
I hate the fact that I have gone pass the Emo stage and now am in depression (which a friend confirmed last night)
I hate the fact that I am forced to make very drastic changes just so that I don't loose every one that I hold dear to.
I make very rash decisions nowadays for example , I have decided to opp for NDU when I enter N.S. what is that you may ask, it stands for the Navel Diving Unit. The training is similar to the U.S. navy seals. they push you to the limit and further. they are the only lot of n.s men to still receive "hell week" where you have training for 72 hours followed by 4 hours sleep and then another 72 hours training. It is a choice that I have made just so that i will aways be active and not let thought of mine drift. Its when they drift thats when i become depressed.
why do you think i am in so many activities such as wake boarding, photography, public speaking and leading a group of sec 2's on Sunday. its all done so i can be kept active and not drift off to nothingness
all I hope now is that i have made the right choice.
Church Camp
Just came back form church camp yesterday. had lots of fun there.
Day One... we left sg at 7am went by the causeway and traveled most of the way without stopping except when we stopped at a rest house for breakfast where we had A&W and KFC then we went to the hotel where we checked in and brought our bags up to the room
Latter we when to another hotel nearby just to see what it looked like.
After that we went back to the hotel and I went swimming with Amanda, Audry, Ariel(tay) and Debora Lam.
There was dinner and then we had worship before the speaker session.
after that i went to sit in the lobby as i wanted to read my book and not disturb my parents who were sleeping
Day Two
Came down for breakfast
After breakfast there was worship and then speaker session then group time
after that there was lunch then I went swimming again this time Abian joined us
then there was dinner then another speaker session then Amanda, Audry, Ariel, Darius, Daniel Yee and myself went to play pool
After all that i went to bed
Day Three
very similar to day 2
breakfast, speaker session lunch
then we played captains ball then went swimming(again)
then dinner then another speaker session
talked to Amanda for a while bout the difficulties of life
then another round of pool
then bed
fourth day
breakfast, last worship,communion, packed bags checked out had lunch and chatted with friends. before we set off
ate dinner at jalan pata(ate lemmonchicken, sambal kangkong,siao bai chai with oystersauce,chaqua with mayo and salted egg crab)
GREAT TRIP!
Church camp
Ill be away at church camp in Malaysia from wed to sat.
if you need to contact me well i wont be available but you can drop me an email or sms and ill get back to you when i can(as if you will need me)
anyway ill guess ill catch up with all of you who read when i get back
Gorrie Out
Have you ever had the feeling the world is moving past you and you are standing still?
have you ever been in that kinda spot where you want to know whats going on but at the same time not really want to be involved?
well thats me. I see my world flashing so quickly before me, it was as if I got off at a train stop and the rest of those I know continued on that train. now even though I caught the next train i still cannot catch up with them. For those who know me know what I'm talking bout but for those who don't I'm talking bout my education.
I have wasted 2 extra years, first year was wasted by doing sec 5 and second year was wasted by re doing my o's. If i compare my self to most other guys who go to J.C then i am behind them by 3 years as I am in Poly. If i compare myself to a girl who went to J.C then i am 5 years behind them cause after poly I still have army. This i guess is the cost of getting off the train when it is not your stop. Lots of my dreams and hopes were royally flushed and now I am left with tiny scraps of what I have once hoped for.
Theres must be a greater purpose for me behind all this just what is it?
Ubin
hey peeps if you were wondering how come i was not in church today was cause i was at ubin camping there with pri 4-6 kids and a gp of enthu HC ppl.
This was the ppl in my gp
as you probably can tell the one in purple T is me,the one in gray and the one next to me are the other 2 leaders.
Our camp site
Cycling to Chek Jawa.
All the leaders had very little sleep and we were all sleeping on either a ground sheet or a hard plastic board on the beach. I ended up stargazing and chatting with Karmen bout what i should do to get over this person who I have been trying to get over for more then a year.
and ofcourse our group fun would not been complete wit out Dom's rolling bhuda thunder(inside joke)
even the kids were quite funny when it came to me talking to any girl with them jumping to conclusions that i am attached to them......
the kids sort of bring out the inner child i think and makes the world less complicatedly
but of course reality hits you once you are on the boat ride home and remember all the worries and troubles that await you when you arrive home( I'm talking bout my maths exam that I have tomorrow)
Oh well thats part and parcel of life i guess
Now all I need to do is try and remember a few formulas.
Wakeboarding
The boat(it aint me in the water)
Must try to get back in the V shape
Change of ppl
after second service Yam peeps went to PP for lunch where we could not decide where to go to eat.
I dont blame Gavin for getting pissed cause at first we said lets eat at fish and co then they found out that the air con was broken co we went to the food court where it was too crowded. so we went to swensons to eat but then there one dint want to wait for the que. so we back tracked to HK cafe to eat. poor gavin who had to walk around to cool off cause he hated the fact that the group could not decide. after lunch i went to borders with Wes, Amanda and ivy's friend then i came home and used the com a bit and crashed for bout 3 hours cause my legs were killing me cause i think i strained my muscle so my whole body was aching.
cant wait till next mon cause i start dry training for wake boarding and then ill be part of TP wake board team.
I love wakeboarding
Today i went wakeboarding at 3pm at kalang with TP for a intro course.
It was super fun cause i was able to stand on my first attempt and was able to follow the boat when it was turning.
as well as move out of the V shape wave made by the boat. compared to the rest that went for the intro course i looked like a pro cause i was able to weave in and out of waves and able to stand for the longest period with out falling. I should try to learn how to jump next time.
when coming back to the dock i was quite excited cause the boat would pull you till you are close to the dock and then you let go of the rope. i love the thrill of the timing all being up to you,if you let go too early and have to swim back or too late and crash in to the dock or worst still over shoot and have a long distance to swim or release the rope at the right timing and glide in. The main thrill of it would be when you know you are in control of everything and what you do alone can change the outcome.
Ill upload the shots next time
I came home smelling like a fish tank and quickly had a shower and changed to meet jc and we went to church to watch transformers showed by yam. latter went to simpang as she wanted to have some longang drink
Forget the title
Its high time i gave up on putting a title for every post.
haha today was a bit weird. i went to church as usual and then had to go and teach my class, they ain't exactly a walk in the park if you know what I mean. Firstly there is Linus who insist on sitting on the chair while the rest of us sit on the floor. then there is Shaun who likes making a lot of noise and flings stuff around class(anything from paper to Christmas deco), he does not have a long attention span so i don't blame him. then there is Michael who likes to hide under a cloth and calls himself Mother Teresa or like today made it into a bomb shelter. There are a few others with weird habits such as being crazy bout"ang mors " and one who skips class to sit by himself in the fellowship deck till we dismiss class. Strangely enough I find them quite an entertaining bunch who aways has energy. Well I guess they have their own perspective on how lessons should be taught. After class i went down to the fellowship deck and started pondering on my life and what can I actually say i have achieved from it. I could not come up with anything of substance. It was either too small a feat or not completed. Aunt Dot came to talk to me to see if I had a plan and goal in life after poly which makes me realize that I payed far too much attention to present then the future. I don't mean I am going to drop living for today and plan for the next 60 years but more of that i should be looking at what is in front of me and not at my feet. After all ain't I meant to be focusing on Jesus and not the water I walk on? I was once asked who am I willing to die for. My answer was simple. If in the before, during or after my death someone comes to know the Lord then my death was worth the while.
Time for update
as some of you know I am currently in TP.
what most don't know is what has happened to me after that.
Well heres a bit of extra info. I am in TP mechatronics (it has nothing to do with transformers)
It is a course which comprises of mechanical engineering and electrical engineering.
I have joined 4 CCA's in the process of being in tp. these would be Toast masters(not bread kinda toast)it has to do with public speaking, visual central(aka photography) SME(mechatronics study club) and wake boarding.
So far i have been through 2 weeks of poly life and it is quite entertaining with little weird quirks of my classmates. I have to admit TP modern dance(hip hop) is quite cool(its only cool cause they used a Christian song as their background music).
so far ive adjusted quite well within my class and so far am taking a different approach to my class mates as compared to secondary school.
oh well thats kinda it for the past 2 weeks and I think I shall update a bit more during these 3 years.
Lunch on Sun
lunch on Sunday is something I look forward to every week
usually end up with the Yam ppl but once in a while it is some other group.
like easter Sunday was with the J1 group at macs where we kept making fun of Ryan and Tabitha.
then on 30 April (last Sunday) went with the yam group which had Joleen, Selene, Shu ling, Daniel, Ivan, Han ling, some guy (sry cant remember name) and myself . Was quite fun going there cause we were sitting in Joleen's car and she was freaking out when it came to parallel parking. she actually is a very good driver just lacks the self confidence and it dint help when we all were going about saying that we all must wear seat belts and cling on for dear life. we all got to simpang safely and we were enjoying the different comments that were flying across the table like how when Joleen drives all we can see are two hands at the wheel quite mean of us but as Gavin was not there we could not really say much bout him apart from that he would need stilts in order to step on the peddles(the car is a Toyota picnic by the way) felt kinda fed up that i was the only one at the table that does not have a license, but am going for basic theory test soon so at least I would hopefully be able to drive soon(cant wait to be able to drive) have been considering going to Perth to visit a friend of mine who has been bugging me to go over from the time I was in sec 2. maybe after i get my driving license then at least i can rent a car so i wont be a burden on his family.
maybe ill go and find part time work over there(farm work) they say that fruit picking brings in bout 3k per month but problem is that it is super hard work and your fingers are sore after that. it would help my guitar playing....
oh well got a go
see you around peeps
Hmmm
I just realized that i should blog more now that I'm free but the problem is that when I'm free there is nothing to blog about.
ok ok so now what?
well theres talking bout what i did in the day which makes this blog sound so cliché but yet again why not.
some days I have to wake up at 6 am make milk for my nephew,
get up feed the cat let the cat out of the back door wake my nephew up,
go and get his breakfast ready, entertain him till noon when someone is able to take over.
when I'm done with that i have to go and search for a job(I know no one hires for less then a month but it gets my mum off my tail)
after that I would go and bring my nephew to the playground as a reward for finishing his lunch
after that I would come home shower and once a month Ill check my accounts so I can plan for the future(I have started saving for down payment for the mortgage of a house)
so that is kinda what I do.
Ultra laggy post
The long awaited post.........
ok ok maybe not that long awaited
but anyway
I got the olymups U770
What is that? it is the camera which can go underwater.
IT goes to depths of 10 meters, shock proof from 1.5 meters, freez proof to -10 degrees c and crush proof by 100kg(no you may not drop it!)
I got it for $499 after discount from $712
Second part of news
I have been accepted into TP doing mechatronics (let me guess you are going to ask what is that, and no it does not have anything to do with transformers.)
It is a combination of mechanical engine and electronics. after that i will be allowed to choose what I want to specialize in where ill most likely opp for aerospace engineering.
Third part of news
I have been asked to be the official photographer for my niece's birthday
so i can now test out my camera and all the different functions. whooo
oh well all said and done I still have to go for some medical checkup for poly where they want to test my hemoglobin level and x-ray, and have no clue why they want it.
wondering if i should go for a haircut. I have to admit it is a bit messy and long and the back is long enough to tie up which annoys my mum like anything.
Maybe ill cut it just before poly starts. : )
Ya right...
now whats wrong with this picture?
Ill tell you whats wrong
Its a test I found on a friend's blog
and the results are super phooey
for one she only got 7 out of 10 guys liking her
and she is one of the sweetest, nicest, and most carrying person I have ever met.
she would go all out to help you and would aways be the best person for advice.
As for me I am nowhere near that sort of standard although I hope to be some day
She is one of those girls who most if not all guys dream to date and are super lucky if the do
they should count their blessings to be able to go out with her.
I am blessed to be her friend.
truly she is a special and and wonderful friend and god sis
CNY
cny tmr but i aint looking forward much to it
all the tradition and protocols and which person has to be called by which title.
such hassle in a way, i dont actually mind the visiting part but when it comes to who to visit first and because of age and rank and huge squabbles between certain extended family members it usually means we have to visit without letting the other party knowing.
all the traditions about having new clothes and must have red and not a single bit of black is a bit annoying actually why cant we break customs and actually enjoy ourselves during this new year after all it should be about getting together and updating each other about our going ons in our life.
Anyway I feel its time to change the subject.
I want to buy the olympus u 790(the underwater camera)
been saving up but am still falling short.
oh well guess i need to save up more and most likely use some of the cny angpow money
valentine's day is also coming
I still see not a big deal with it(most likely cause I'm single)
all I see is cupid going trigger happy(pictures cupid with a giant machine gun and heart tipped bullets).
but seriously valentine's day is a time where most guys go broke and and girls grumble of growing fat.
oh well I guess one day Ill understand what all the fuss about V-day is about. until then Ill just don on some cupid Kevlar
Name:Leslie
Be closer to God♥
Age: 20
If you know me you will know this info
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Msn:Razgriz
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..::Top 3 favorite songs::..
I can only imagine(mercy me)
Blurry(puddle of mud)
High(lighthouse family)
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..::My best friend::..
Keith
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...::+My Favorite Stores+::...
OF Mice And Men
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==**Can't live with out**==
¤God
¤Family
¤Friends
¤Music
¤Love of friends and family
¤♥Passion for Jesus Christ♥
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{♫}My Wishlist{♫}
Love and care from others
Be less Emo
more friends(more friends is aways good)
Quote: We guard out hearts preciously and give it away so cautiously, Some hearts are crystal among glass and shatter ever so beautifully
Abby(Church)
Afina(TP/wake boarding)
Andrew(Church)
Bear(5B/BDS)
Charis(Church)
Denise(TP/Wake boarding)
Faridah(els/BDS)
Geri(ELS/BDS)
Grace Oh(BDS)
J.C.(Church)
Jessica(TP/wake boarding)
Jia Min(HC/DAS camp)
Josh Goh(Church)
Josh Tay(Church)
Li Zhen(BDS)
Magdalene(BDS/ALW)
Nigel(TP/wake boarding)
Rimiko(BDS/prefects)
Sher Li(ELS/BDS)
Si Qi(Church)
.......
[[My Profile]]
[[My Website]]
"For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither your ways my ways" declares the Lord(Isa 55.8)
{♪♫♪}Leave me stuff{♪♫♪}
whats been going on so far
recently I went wake-boarding with sherm and li-zhen
then there was also Y.E.S.
well thats been the main 2 events recently unless you count the month
where my parents and brother's family went to U.K. for 3 and a half weeks where
I was home alone.
old blog new look
decided to change the old blog and add a few new things. I just redid the old blog so as to have a background pic of me as well as change the color of the font in the blog skin, changed the song too.
changing the codes were a real pain but I think I can now attempt to make my own blog skin from scratch.
THINKING
Thought about you a lot today (not Nicole). cant seem to get you out of my mind lately
what do I have to do to lead a normal life where I can be truly happy?
haven't felt truly happy in a long time.
Have been kicked out of tp cause i failed my exams. Its not that I want to fail or i dint study
so would appreciate it if people dint call me a failure. I am just tired of getting demoralized by the ones i call "friends". so much for standing by me through thick and thin. I don't know what friendship is anymore but wiki defines it as " a term used to denote co-operative and supportive behavior between two or more people." haven't felt supported much lately
"why on earth did you not study" is the most common remark
or "I told you to study right!". little do they know this is so degrading to me that there is no self worth anymore.
But can i disagree with them? not really cause before i say a word they have switched to another topic.
i don't belong anywhere. not in tp, not in wake boarding, not in church and not at home.
and why on earth have i fallen so hard for someone 5 years younger then myself who wants nothing to do with me?
its best i go to army for every ones sake. then ill Be out of their hair faster cause once I'm on that plane to aus I'm not coming back.
I havent posted for a very long time and thats cause i have been rather blue lately
well here is why i am blue.
1. broke up with Nicole and still have no clue why she acted in such a manner
2. stressed out and tired from pressures that are presented in front of me from different ministries in church
3. getting ignored by someone from church who i used to like before Nicole
4. idiots who don't know how easily hurt i am go teasing be bout my break up.
5. high expectations placed on me by peers
there is many more but i wont bore you with the details.
i am really stressed out and the only one that can help me is the Lord.
a few close friends wont do any harm either.
To Nicole
Nicole if you are reading this I want you to know I'm trying my best to cling on
but it feels like its turn to a one sided relationship.
You don't answer my calls, smses, canceled four of our dates and hardly can tell when I'm real hurt.
Do you mean for it to be over?
Do you want me gone?
The sky has lost it's color
The sun has turned to gray
At least that's how it feels to me
Whenever you're away
I still believe in feelings
But sometimes I feel too much
I make believe you're close to me
But it ain't close enough
I crawl up in the corner
As I watch the minutes pass
Each one brings me closer to
The time when you'll be back
a poem i recently wrote
some may know the reason
I never will forget the day I saw a dream walking. Her name was (cant revel name). Her long and wavy hair cascading down her shoulders caressing her back, with a smile beneath two twinkling eyes making anyone who received it feel very special.
While her physical beauty was astounding it was her invisible beauty I shall always remember. She really cared about people and was an extremely talented listener. Her sense of humor could brighten your entire day and her wise words were always exactly what you needed to hear. She was not only admired but also genuinely respected by members of both sexes. With everything in the world to be conceited about she was extremely humble.
Needless to say she was every guys dream especially mine. I got to walk her to the bus and even got to eat lunch with her. That day the sunset in raining streams of crimson gold.
I would think “if only I could have a girlfriend like (name), Ill’ never look at another girl again” but I figured that some one this outstanding was probably dating someone far better then myself. Even if she was single I just knew I dint stand even a ghost of a chance.
Hello
have not blogged in some time. okok a long time.
lots has happened from the last time i blogged.
have had exams in sch now on 51 days break, had annoying ppl around me, went back to chec for teachers day and so on.
but am busy now so will blog again hopefully soon.
oh and if you can tell im a lot more cheerful
What on earth was I thinking
why did I not join the nameless 19 year old boys for lunch even if an ice cream lunch would have made me feel sick. Why did I join a group that has the girl I'm trying so hard to get over in it?
nvm bout that why did I latter agree to go and watch "Wanted" with them?
what was I thinking???
CRAP lah
Hi world
as some of you have seen and commented on my last post i do admit it is a bit morbid.
anyway today i went wake boarding :) had great time poking fun at Afina while waiting for my turn to go. it all started with me looking over the side of the dock and spotted fish and called her over little did i know she had an evil plan to push me into the water and get soaked all over again.
wake boarding with Nigel and Afina is fun they are really cool peeps. anyway i do hope to be able to go wake boarding with the rest of the fresh i's in wake boarding. then it would be loads of fun.
pics will be uploaded in a few days
ObituariesLeslie Gorrie, died last night from complications of losing his soul mate. He was 19 years old. Soft-spoken and obsessive, Leslie never looked the part of a hopeless romantic. But, in the final days of his life, he revealed an unknown side of his psyche. This hidden quasi-Jungian persona surfaced during the Agatha Christie-like pursuit of his long reputed soul mate, a girl whom he only spent a few precious hours with. Sadly, the protracted search ended late Saturday night in complete and utter failure. Yet even in certain defeat, Leslie secretly clung to the belief that life is not merely a series of meaningless accidents or coincidences. No-no. But rather, its a tapestry of events that culminate in an exquisite, sublime plan. Leslie was described as a changed man in the last days of his life. "Things were clearer for him" . Ultimately Leslie concluded that if we are to live life in harmony with the universe, we must all possess a powerful faith in what the ancients used to call "fatum", what we currently refer to as destiny.
(a friend wrote it for me.)
What can I say other then I hate my life. I don't hate the fact that I'm alive but what Ive done to make it this way.
What on earth am I talking bout you may ask.
I don't like the fact that I can see my friends slipping through my fingers and theres not a single thing I can do to stop it.
I dont like the fact that I had to study just so I don't have to think of a particular person.
I hate the fact that I have gone pass the Emo stage and now am in depression (which a friend confirmed last night)
I hate the fact that I am forced to make very drastic changes just so that I don't loose every one that I hold dear to.
I make very rash decisions nowadays for example , I have decided to opp for NDU when I enter N.S. what is that you may ask, it stands for the Navel Diving Unit. The training is similar to the U.S. navy seals. they push you to the limit and further. they are the only lot of n.s men to still receive "hell week" where you have training for 72 hours followed by 4 hours sleep and then another 72 hours training. It is a choice that I have made just so that i will aways be active and not let thought of mine drift. Its when they drift thats when i become depressed.
why do you think i am in so many activities such as wake boarding, photography, public speaking and leading a group of sec 2's on Sunday. its all done so i can be kept active and not drift off to nothingness
all I hope now is that i have made the right choice.
Church Camp
Just came back form church camp yesterday. had lots of fun there.
Day One... we left sg at 7am went by the causeway and traveled most of the way without stopping except when we stopped at a rest house for breakfast where we had A&W and KFC then we went to the hotel where we checked in and brought our bags up to the room
Latter we when to another hotel nearby just to see what it looked like.
After that we went back to the hotel and I went swimming with Amanda, Audry, Ariel(tay) and Debora Lam.
There was dinner and then we had worship before the speaker session.
after that i went to sit in the lobby as i wanted to read my book and not disturb my parents who were sleeping
Day Two
Came down for breakfast
After breakfast there was worship and then speaker session then group time
after that there was lunch then I went swimming again this time Abian joined us
then there was dinner then another speaker session then Amanda, Audry, Ariel, Darius, Daniel Yee and myself went to play pool
After all that i went to bed
Day Three
very similar to day 2
breakfast, speaker session lunch
then we played captains ball then went swimming(again)
then dinner then another speaker session
talked to Amanda for a while bout the difficulties of life
then another round of pool
then bed
fourth day
breakfast, last worship,communion, packed bags checked out had lunch and chatted with friends. before we set off
ate dinner at jalan pata(ate lemmonchicken, sambal kangkong,siao bai chai with oystersauce,chaqua with mayo and salted egg crab)
GREAT TRIP!
Church camp
Ill be away at church camp in Malaysia from wed to sat.
if you need to contact me well i wont be available but you can drop me an email or sms and ill get back to you when i can(as if you will need me)
anyway ill guess ill catch up with all of you who read when i get back
Gorrie Out
Have you ever had the feeling the world is moving past you and you are standing still?
have you ever been in that kinda spot where you want to know whats going on but at the same time not really want to be involved?
well thats me. I see my world flashing so quickly before me, it was as if I got off at a train stop and the rest of those I know continued on that train. now even though I caught the next train i still cannot catch up with them. For those who know me know what I'm talking bout but for those who don't I'm talking bout my education.
I have wasted 2 extra years, first year was wasted by doing sec 5 and second year was wasted by re doing my o's. If i compare my self to most other guys who go to J.C then i am behind them by 3 years as I am in Poly. If i compare myself to a girl who went to J.C then i am 5 years behind them cause after poly I still have army. This i guess is the cost of getting off the train when it is not your stop. Lots of my dreams and hopes were royally flushed and now I am left with tiny scraps of what I have once hoped for.
Theres must be a greater purpose for me behind all this just what is it?
Ubin
hey peeps if you were wondering how come i was not in church today was cause i was at ubin camping there with pri 4-6 kids and a gp of enthu HC ppl.
This was the ppl in my gp
as you probably can tell the one in purple T is me,the one in gray and the one next to me are the other 2 leaders.
Our camp site
Cycling to Chek Jawa.
All the leaders had very little sleep and we were all sleeping on either a ground sheet or a hard plastic board on the beach. I ended up stargazing and chatting with Karmen bout what i should do to get over this person who I have been trying to get over for more then a year.
and ofcourse our group fun would not been complete wit out Dom's rolling bhuda thunder(inside joke)
even the kids were quite funny when it came to me talking to any girl with them jumping to conclusions that i am attached to them......
the kids sort of bring out the inner child i think and makes the world less complicatedly
but of course reality hits you once you are on the boat ride home and remember all the worries and troubles that await you when you arrive home( I'm talking bout my maths exam that I have tomorrow)
Oh well thats part and parcel of life i guess
Now all I need to do is try and remember a few formulas.
WakeboardingThe boat(it aint me in the water)
Must try to get back in the V shape
Change of ppl
after second service Yam peeps went to PP for lunch where we could not decide where to go to eat.
I dont blame Gavin for getting pissed cause at first we said lets eat at fish and co then they found out that the air con was broken co we went to the food court where it was too crowded. so we went to swensons to eat but then there one dint want to wait for the que. so we back tracked to HK cafe to eat. poor gavin who had to walk around to cool off cause he hated the fact that the group could not decide. after lunch i went to borders with Wes, Amanda and ivy's friend then i came home and used the com a bit and crashed for bout 3 hours cause my legs were killing me cause i think i strained my muscle so my whole body was aching.
cant wait till next mon cause i start dry training for wake boarding and then ill be part of TP wake board team.
I love wakeboarding
Today i went wakeboarding at 3pm at kalang with TP for a intro course.
It was super fun cause i was able to stand on my first attempt and was able to follow the boat when it was turning.
as well as move out of the V shape wave made by the boat. compared to the rest that went for the intro course i looked like a pro cause i was able to weave in and out of waves and able to stand for the longest period with out falling. I should try to learn how to jump next time.
when coming back to the dock i was quite excited cause the boat would pull you till you are close to the dock and then you let go of the rope. i love the thrill of the timing all being up to you,if you let go too early and have to swim back or too late and crash in to the dock or worst still over shoot and have a long distance to swim or release the rope at the right timing and glide in. The main thrill of it would be when you know you are in control of everything and what you do alone can change the outcome.
Ill upload the shots next time
I came home smelling like a fish tank and quickly had a shower and changed to meet jc and we went to church to watch transformers showed by yam. latter went to simpang as she wanted to have some longang drink
Forget the title
Its high time i gave up on putting a title for every post.
haha today was a bit weird. i went to church as usual and then had to go and teach my class, they ain't exactly a walk in the park if you know what I mean. Firstly there is Linus who insist on sitting on the chair while the rest of us sit on the floor. then there is Shaun who likes making a lot of noise and flings stuff around class(anything from paper to Christmas deco), he does not have a long attention span so i don't blame him. then there is Michael who likes to hide under a cloth and calls himself Mother Teresa or like today made it into a bomb shelter. There are a few others with weird habits such as being crazy bout"ang mors " and one who skips class to sit by himself in the fellowship deck till we dismiss class. Strangely enough I find them quite an entertaining bunch who aways has energy. Well I guess they have their own perspective on how lessons should be taught. After class i went down to the fellowship deck and started pondering on my life and what can I actually say i have achieved from it. I could not come up with anything of substance. It was either too small a feat or not completed. Aunt Dot came to talk to me to see if I had a plan and goal in life after poly which makes me realize that I payed far too much attention to present then the future. I don't mean I am going to drop living for today and plan for the next 60 years but more of that i should be looking at what is in front of me and not at my feet. After all ain't I meant to be focusing on Jesus and not the water I walk on? I was once asked who am I willing to die for. My answer was simple. If in the before, during or after my death someone comes to know the Lord then my death was worth the while.
Time for update
as some of you know I am currently in TP.
what most don't know is what has happened to me after that.
Well heres a bit of extra info. I am in TP mechatronics (it has nothing to do with transformers)
It is a course which comprises of mechanical engineering and electrical engineering.
I have joined 4 CCA's in the process of being in tp. these would be Toast masters(not bread kinda toast)it has to do with public speaking, visual central(aka photography) SME(mechatronics study club) and wake boarding.
So far i have been through 2 weeks of poly life and it is quite entertaining with little weird quirks of my classmates. I have to admit TP modern dance(hip hop) is quite cool(its only cool cause they used a Christian song as their background music).
so far ive adjusted quite well within my class and so far am taking a different approach to my class mates as compared to secondary school.
oh well thats kinda it for the past 2 weeks and I think I shall update a bit more during these 3 years.
Lunch on Sun
lunch on Sunday is something I look forward to every week
usually end up with the Yam ppl but once in a while it is some other group.
like easter Sunday was with the J1 group at macs where we kept making fun of Ryan and Tabitha.
then on 30 April (last Sunday) went with the yam group which had Joleen, Selene, Shu ling, Daniel, Ivan, Han ling, some guy (sry cant remember name) and myself . Was quite fun going there cause we were sitting in Joleen's car and she was freaking out when it came to parallel parking. she actually is a very good driver just lacks the self confidence and it dint help when we all were going about saying that we all must wear seat belts and cling on for dear life. we all got to simpang safely and we were enjoying the different comments that were flying across the table like how when Joleen drives all we can see are two hands at the wheel quite mean of us but as Gavin was not there we could not really say much bout him apart from that he would need stilts in order to step on the peddles(the car is a Toyota picnic by the way) felt kinda fed up that i was the only one at the table that does not have a license, but am going for basic theory test soon so at least I would hopefully be able to drive soon(cant wait to be able to drive) have been considering going to Perth to visit a friend of mine who has been bugging me to go over from the time I was in sec 2. maybe after i get my driving license then at least i can rent a car so i wont be a burden on his family.
maybe ill go and find part time work over there(farm work) they say that fruit picking brings in bout 3k per month but problem is that it is super hard work and your fingers are sore after that. it would help my guitar playing....
oh well got a go
see you around peeps
Hmmm
I just realized that i should blog more now that I'm free but the problem is that when I'm free there is nothing to blog about.
ok ok so now what?
well theres talking bout what i did in the day which makes this blog sound so cliché but yet again why not.
some days I have to wake up at 6 am make milk for my nephew,
get up feed the cat let the cat out of the back door wake my nephew up,
go and get his breakfast ready, entertain him till noon when someone is able to take over.
when I'm done with that i have to go and search for a job(I know no one hires for less then a month but it gets my mum off my tail)
after that I would go and bring my nephew to the playground as a reward for finishing his lunch
after that I would come home shower and once a month Ill check my accounts so I can plan for the future(I have started saving for down payment for the mortgage of a house)
so that is kinda what I do.
Ultra laggy post
The long awaited post.........
ok ok maybe not that long awaited
but anyway
I got the olymups U770
What is that? it is the camera which can go underwater.
IT goes to depths of 10 meters, shock proof from 1.5 meters, freez proof to -10 degrees c and crush proof by 100kg(no you may not drop it!)
I got it for $499 after discount from $712
Second part of news
I have been accepted into TP doing mechatronics (let me guess you are going to ask what is that, and no it does not have anything to do with transformers.)
It is a combination of mechanical engine and electronics. after that i will be allowed to choose what I want to specialize in where ill most likely opp for aerospace engineering.
Third part of news
I have been asked to be the official photographer for my niece's birthday
so i can now test out my camera and all the different functions. whooo
oh well all said and done I still have to go for some medical checkup for poly where they want to test my hemoglobin level and x-ray, and have no clue why they want it.
wondering if i should go for a haircut. I have to admit it is a bit messy and long and the back is long enough to tie up which annoys my mum like anything.
Maybe ill cut it just before poly starts. : )
Ya right...
now whats wrong with this picture?
Ill tell you whats wrong
Its a test I found on a friend's blog
and the results are super phooey
for one she only got 7 out of 10 guys liking her
and she is one of the sweetest, nicest, and most carrying person I have ever met.
she would go all out to help you and would aways be the best person for advice.
As for me I am nowhere near that sort of standard although I hope to be some day
She is one of those girls who most if not all guys dream to date and are super lucky if the do
they should count their blessings to be able to go out with her.
I am blessed to be her friend.
truly she is a special and and wonderful friend and god sis
CNY
cny tmr but i aint looking forward much to it
all the tradition and protocols and which person has to be called by which title.
such hassle in a way, i dont actually mind the visiting part but when it comes to who to visit first and because of age and rank and huge squabbles between certain extended family members it usually means we have to visit without letting the other party knowing.
all the traditions about having new clothes and must have red and not a single bit of black is a bit annoying actually why cant we break customs and actually enjoy ourselves during this new year after all it should be about getting together and updating each other about our going ons in our life.
Anyway I feel its time to change the subject.
I want to buy the olympus u 790(the underwater camera)
been saving up but am still falling short.
oh well guess i need to save up more and most likely use some of the cny angpow money
valentine's day is also coming
I still see not a big deal with it(most likely cause I'm single)
all I see is cupid going trigger happy(pictures cupid with a giant machine gun and heart tipped bullets).
but seriously valentine's day is a time where most guys go broke and and girls grumble of growing fat.
oh well I guess one day Ill understand what all the fuss about V-day is about. until then Ill just don on some cupid Kevlar